Saturday, February 19, 2005

First One

I'm starting in the middle, because the middle is where I am. I'm having an "operative laparoscopy and hysteroscopy" on Tuesday. I am way, way freaked out about this.

Why does everything regarding infertility have to hurt so much. Physically, I mean.
We all know it hurts emotionally, but isn't that enough! Must we be tortured in every sense of the word?

Sonohystogram= horrific cramping and lots of swearing
Endometrial Biopsy= Sharp, stabbing pain and crying while swearing
HSG= horrific cramping, intense cervical pain from the mother fucking tenaculum, and enough pressure to very nearly make me vomit on the poor x-ray tech.
Pelvic u/s (aka date with dildocam)= mild compared to everything else, but still...ouch.

Yes, I am a whiney, complaining, bitchy infertile. But only here.

After each of these procedures I sat up and joked with whichever member of my clinic's staff had been chosen to torture me that day. I minimize the pain to my husband and to my friends.