Sunday, May 11, 2008

Pee sticks, redux

Gabriel is 21 months old. We waited longer than I thought we would, longer than we probably should have, to start thinking about baby #2.
My cycles are strange. Usually very long, sometimes anovulatory. I'm still nursing G, but the cycle weirdness probably can't be blamed on the nursing, because this wasn't unusual before he was concieved. Today is cycle day 20'ish, and I've had egg white for a few days and today the line on the stick is finally starting to look similar to the control line.
Looks like its time for more fun, fun, fun ttc sex. I thought maybe we could just do that "not trying, but not preventing" thing. Ha! You have to have sex for that to work. Between Gabriel still co-sleeping, the exhaustion of parenting a toddler and M's exhausting work schedule, recreational sex is the furthest thing from our minds these days.

When I started blogging, there were a few other blogs that got started around the same time I did, and coincidentally all of us had babies around the same time. A few other blog babies were born around that time too. Most of us are thinking about or currently gestating the next baby, some of us are just happy with one.

Honestly, I think I could be happy with just one baby. Trying to conceive is such a mind-fuck, and while I loved pregnancy, that labor and birth thing was not fun. The biggest reason we want more children is the deep desire for Gabriel to have siblings. I really believe the sibling relationship is as deep and important as the parent/child relationship. I don't want to deny him that relationship because I'm scared of childbirth or afraid of the chaos of the early years of parenting more than one child.

So, I'm peeing on sticks again. Its different this time. I feel hopeful and nervous-and wonder when/if this will give way to despair. I try to enjoy every minute with Gabriel, even when its hard and he's screaming and pulling everything out of my cabinets and shaking pail powder all over the house. Or climbing on the kitchen table, pulling out napkins, playing with placemats and dumping salt and pepper everywhere.

I'll keep you posted on the second round of peeing on sticks, in about 2 weeks or so. I've already ordered the jumbo pack.


Anonymous Jen said...

Welcome back, especially to this world. I've found that I'm much less freaked out about it this time around (so weird to be in the RE's office and not on the verge of tears, for once). I hope you have an easier go of it this time around!

May 12, 2008 10:50 AM  
Blogger MsPrufrock said...

Welcome back! It's good to see a picture of Gabriel again - look at that hair!

Best of luck with the attempts at number 2!

May 12, 2008 12:40 PM  
Blogger Catizhere said...

HI!!! So glad to see you back.

Wow. He is so darn good looking!

Must be the age...Every.single.night I have to pull Will off the table & replace the napkins.

May 12, 2008 1:08 PM  
Blogger Sassy said...

Welcome back and good luck. :)

May 13, 2008 12:04 PM  
Blogger Milenka said...

So glad to see your return! I cannot believe that G. is 21 months old already. Then again, I can't believe that my girls will be 18 months old tomorrow. Time does fly with a toddler in the house, huh? :-) Good luck with #2!

May 13, 2008 1:29 PM  
Blogger tonya said...

I'm happy to see that you're back! I will be following your journey, and hope it goes easier this time around. Amazing that our boys are almost 2 now!! (I am in such huge denial about that.)

May 14, 2008 8:36 AM  
Blogger Piccinigirl said...

wow, he is such a cutie.
Good luck with trying for #2. I hope that this time it goes much smoother...
can't wait to hear

May 16, 2008 8:48 AM  
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