Saturday, January 14, 2006

Confessions at 13w3d

#1. I had a Diet Coke this morning with my bagel. Its the first one I've had since I got pregnant and MAN was it good.

#2. I've been a raving bitch to my husband the last few days. There is too much stuff to get done in our house, and too little time to do it. Meanwhile he plays golf. This irritates me.

#3. I'm still jealous of IF bloggers who get pregnant, who hit milestones in their pregnancies, etc. WTF is the matter with me?

#4. I am wildly jealous of those IF bloggers who are having twins.

#5. I'm still afraid to try on the maternity clothes my mom got me for Christmas.

#6. I like to try to convince myself that I'm "showing" but really, its just all the french fries I've been eating.

#7. I listen to The Gummy's heartbeat so often that I try to hide it from my husband.
I'm desperately afraid I'm hurting The Gummy by subjecting him/her to so much u/s, but I can't seem to help myself. Its the only thing that takes away the DBTs.

#8. I haven't been blogging much because I don't know how to write about being pregnant here.

#9. I still feel like a fraud when I use the word "pregnant" in relation to myself.

#10. I'm very proud that I have, so far, been able to keep the promise I made to myself not to blog about pregnancy related complaints.

#11. The perinatologist says its ok to start having sex again. I'm both afraid to try, and desperately horny.

(Ok, now the Diet Coke has given me a terrible headache. Fucking artificial sweeteners.)

16 Comments:

Blogger Em said...

Ditto #3 & 4. As for #11 - we did it over Christmas and I got a bit of cervical abrasion bleeding (very light). I was sore and my husband says he just feels like the baby is watching or something. I am kind of off it at the moment.

January 14, 2006 11:30 AM  
Blogger MsPrufrock said...

3,4,8,9 - check. I can't shut up about feeling this way on my blog. I hope to at least come to terms with it sometime soon so I can at least shut up about it for a little while.

January 14, 2006 5:46 PM  
Anonymous korin said...

Am I the only pregnant person with NO sex drive? seriously... couldn't care less about it. Maybe I should give it a shot and see if it is fun after all ;)

Who cares how many times you have to listen to gummy... If it keeps the DBTs away till you start feeling movement.. or after that if you need to. Gummy will be fine fine fine.

January 14, 2006 7:24 PM  
Blogger Lut C. said...

Is a doppler the same as an u/s machine?

Does this mean you've started your second trimester now?

January 15, 2006 4:31 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

Keep writing! Even though I'm not PG and still in infertility hell I enjoy reading your story. And most of all you give me hope.

January 15, 2006 10:26 AM  
Blogger Catizhere said...

#8 is me to tee!

THere are 2 others out there, who did IVF in Dec & were pregnant until last week. How can I express my joy & awe yet not be too offensive to those who are hurting so much? One of these ladies is only about a half hour away from me & she was looking for company/distraction this weekend. I wanted so badly to meet up with her, but how could I hang out with her & commiserate her loss, while I'm still deliriously happy about making it to 13 weeks??

I never could drink diet anything without getting headaches.

January 15, 2006 11:30 AM  
Blogger elle said...

Wow, I can so relate to a lot of those things. Having sex that early was still scary, but FINE - really. Feeling like a fraud - yup. That goes away, w/ the daily reality of still being pg. I am finally starting to realize there will be a b-a-b-y in my apt by June!?! I think that relates to maternity clothes too. You will get them when you need them. One nice thing in the meanwhile is a belly band - I love mine. You can also go to regular stores and buy clothes that would work for maternity, but then also avoid the creepy maternity stores. They are awful. Or try gap/old navy for maternity gear. And I think you should use your blog for your own needs. If you need to complain about pg-related issues, by gum you should! I am so happy for you - 2nd trimester!!!!! :-)

January 15, 2006 12:46 PM  
Blogger Dramalish said...

Soda is a bitch goddess. From the start of the last IUI cycle, I gave up the caffinate ones. Then when I had the GDT drama, I gave up soda entirely. Getting off sugar was really good for me physically, but then Christmas and travelling hit, and I so fell off the wagon. I had a Dr. Pepper on vacation and I couldn't believe how incredible it tasted. Now I'm craving sugar again.

Don't feel bad about the lingering feelings of jealousy, etc. It can take a LOT to realize that a baby is actually, literally inside of you, and your joy can be real.

I have absolute ZILCH in the sex drive reserve, but if you got the urgin'-- DO it!! Do it for all of us who consider the idea and then cringe a little. ;)

Congrats on entering the second trimester, Meg. I miss you and your posts, and wish you so much luck and happiness.
-D.

January 16, 2006 2:40 PM  
Blogger Thalia said...

Megan I'm glad that things are going ok. Try not to give yourself too hard a time. You deserve this.

January 23, 2006 7:01 AM  
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